One Letter Stand
by Tassel630
Summary: The ultimate collab of the ADD - one chapter, one letter of the alphabet, one fabulous Maximum Ride author. Continuation of A Collab of Alphabetical Proportions Ninja C and Leftover Alphabet Soup Akira43 .
1. Accurate

**One Letter Stand**

**A/N: Welcome back to the third leg of our collab, One Letter Stand! For any newcomers out there, Ninja C, Akira43, and I have done two alphabetical Maximum Ride collaborations before, A Collab Of Alphabetical Proportions (on Ninja C's profile) and Leftover Alphabet Soup (on Akira43's profile). This one is special; it's sort of a mega-collab. You know, go out with a bang. Here, we have many (I don't know the number, ask Ninja C) different Maximum Ride authors contributing by doing a letter of the collab – hence, One Letter Stand.**

**If anyone cares, all three of us finished the 50,000 words of our NaNoWriMo novels last month, but none of us finished the actual novels. Guess December isn't so much of a reprieve.**

**Disclaimer: Though I believe JP has never done NaNoWriMo, he still manages to crank out, like, 20 books a year. Hmm. (**_**I **_**certainly can't write that fast.)**

**So I present:**

**A is for: Accurate**  
_By Tassel630_

_Thunk._

I methodically flung another dart at the board.

_Thunk._

The door cracked open. Fang's head appeared.

"Letting out some negative feelings?" he asked in an usually cheerful voice, cocking an eyebrow.

_Thunk._

"Why are you so happy?" I growled.

He shrugged. "Bothering you is always a source of great amusement," he replied cheekily.

_Thunk._

"I might remind you that I have several sharp, throwable objects in my hand at the moment," I huffed without looking at him.

"Yes, and for whatever reason, you're torturing your mother's poor wall with them."

I shot him an acidic look as I threw another dart. _Thunk. _"Shut up. I only missed three." The rest of them protruded from the board, not the drywall.

"You'd have thought you'd have better aim, with all your super-survival skills."

_Thunk._

"Why are you so annoyed, anyway?"

"Why are you so annoying, anyway?" I shot back.

"Because when I see you this irritated about something petty, it would be a waste of an opportunity that fate has so graciously provided _not _to annoy you."

I glanced at him as I threw another dart. It whizzed through the air and hit the exact center of the dartboard. _Thunk._

"I answered your question, now you have to tell me why you're annoyed," Fang insisted.

"Why can't you just be quiet like you used to be when we were on the run?" I grumbled under my breath. "Fine – I'm annoyed because someone left a comment on your blog that I didn't like."

"Been reading the words of the master?" he teased. "Which one was it?"

"I don't remember," I lied. _Thunk._

"It was carrot_top_63, wasn't it?" he asked, grinning in a manner so mischievous for him that I paused in my dart-throwing to scoot farther down the couch, away from him. He was right, but I wasn't going to admit it.

"It's interesting, isn't it?" he taunted. "She thinks I'm _wonderful_."

"Again, sharp objects," I growled. _Thunk._

"But you won't throw a dart at me," he asserted gleefully.

"Are you sure about that?" I snarled.

"Yup," he cackled. "'Cuz you loooooooove me, remember?"

I spun around and flung the last dart at him; seeing my sudden movement, he threw himself over the back of his chair and toward the door, but he was too slow. My aim was quite accurate, and the dart hit him squarely in the rear end.

"Bullseye," I drawled.

**A/N: I wrote the first draft with a fountain pen. Just sayin'.**

**The next chapter is B is for Birthday (I think), and it will be written by Ninja C! I know, I know, you can't wait. Only a day, dearies.**

**Tassel out!**


	2. Birthday

**One Letter Stand**

**OH MY GOD I ALMOST FORGOT.**

**Tassel and I were at a huge party (we played visual telephone, complete with A Very Potter Musical jokes), and I just realized that I still had to write this. So for all our new readers, hi, I'm Ninja C. As you can "C" (haha), I'm very scatterbrained, punny, enthusiastic, and BUSY.**

**Without further ado, as I only have, like, twenty minutes left to write this, here's B.**

**Disclaimer: I'm just surprised JP can come up with titles anymore. Whereas **_**I**_**, your wonderful co-author of this fic, made up this fabulous name. Aren't you so glad I'm me?**

**B is for: Birthday**  
_By Ninja C_

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAX!"

I screamed and leapt out of bed, ready for whatever was coming at me.

The kids all stared like I was crazy. Gazzy farted.

"_Ewwww!_" Nudge squealed. "Not on Max's birthday, Gazzy!"

Plugging my nose, I thought, _Birthday? Is that today? _You could see how important this day was to me, as I had forgotten it.

"Aww!" Gazzy complained. "I wanted to show her what I did!"

"Besides soil your pants?" I asked nasally, still holding my nose and trying to get the putrid taste from my mouth.

Gazzy made a face. Nudge, Angel, and I looked at each other warily. I was beginning to fear what Gazzy had allegedly done.

"Now, Gasser," I motioned to the girls to run, which they did, "is this going to be like when you were a baby and couldn't talk except through your gas?" Fang slipped into the room silently, poised to grab the Gasman and run. Gazzy's face turned red. "Oh, God, please no," I begged whatever higher being there was, shielding my face.

Fang snatched the little guy and bolted out the door, just as Gazzy let out an almighty "HAPP-Y-BIRTH-DAY" in farts. I heard retching noises from outside my door.

Fang lay prostrate on the floor, choking and squinting through the haze that the Gasman had emitted. Gazzy himself was kneeling over Fang. I went over to join him in his leaning, attaching the emergency clothespin to my nose.

"Dude, what's wrong?" Gasser asked in concern. I was beginning to fear that he was becoming impervious to the effects of his own gas.

Fang just glared at me half-heartedly and said, "You'd better… be glad it's… your birthday."

**SUCCESS! NaNo did me more good than harm, I suppose.**

**Akira, you're up with C is for Crazy Cute by Sunday.**


	3. Crazy Cute

**One Letter Stand**

**A/N: Hi folks, Akira here. Yes I'm alive. Although I was home sick all of last week, and therefore have spent this week catching up. Hence the lack of alphabet story. Did I mention my internet was down all day yesterday, too?**

**Anyways, I'm here now, although certainly not hopping up and down energetically yet (still sick). Here's a bit of holiday cheer for you.**

**C is for: Crazy Cute**  
_By Akira43_

In Arizona, there is no such thing as a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas was something none of the flock had experienced before. The lack of cold and runny noses was seriously putting a damper on the holiday, and it certainly didn't feel as if the holidays were finally here.

That's why Angel's creation was just what the flock needed to cheer up.

"Max! Fang! Nudge! Iggy! Gasman! Get your lazy bums out here!"

The six of us had been watching a Christmas special on TV, and no one had noticed that Angel had slipped away. It was painfully obvious now, though, as she yelled at the top of her lungs, interrupting our mind-numbing movie watching.

The five of us that were still inside groaned to each other and managed to stumble to the front door.

Angel was standing next to my mom's full-size nativity set, grinning mischievously.

"What is it, Angel," I asked with a sigh.

"Look," she said, as if what we were supposed to be seeing was obvious.

"Angel, hon, I don't see anyth-"

I burst out laughing, unable to finish my sentence, as I finally noticed what Angel was pointing out. Baby Jesus was no longer lying in the manger.

Total was.

Complete with baby bonnet and bottle.

Everyone else joined in my laughter, as they also noticed the amusing spectacle. Fang was barely able to explain what was going on to Iggy around his laughter, annoying the tall blonde, but as soon as he understood the situation, Iggy no longer blamed Fang's inability to speak.

Total look grumpy and a bit ticked off that we were all laughing at him.

"Yeah, go ahead. Laugh," he said sarcastically. "See if I care."

"Total, you are soooooo cute!" Nudge cooed, picking him up out of the manger and cuddling him.

"This is insane. Crazy," Total muttered under his breath as he was unwillingly coddled.

"You're right, Total," I said seriously, just barely managing to look solemn. "This is crazy."

I paused, then grinned. "Crazy Cute!"

This set off another round of uncontrollable laughter. Total seethed in Nudge's arms, and would later make us swear to never mention this again.

It wasn't, too. That is, until Fang overheard Total talking to Akila later that day, dramatically retelling the story, and emphasizing the point that when it came to dogs, he was considered "crazy cute."

**A/N: Happy Holidays, folks! Stay tuned for the next chapter, Dumbledore, by butterfinger45!**

**Thanks for reading!**


	4. Dumbledore

**One Letter Stand**

**Author's Note from Tassel: Okay, so we're supposed to be at F today and we should be back on track. People who have letters following F, your chapters are still due on the original day.**

**Disclaimer: Um, it's not my chapter, so I don't wanna be creative. We don't own.**

**D is for: Dumbledore  
**_By butterfinger45_

"NOOO!"

I heard Nudge's scream coming from upstairs. Running up two stairs at a time, I came to a halt at the door of her and Angel's bedroom, expecting to see erasers flying in and taking off with the only other female members of the flock. Luckily, that was not the case. Nudge was sitting down on her bed, clutching a green book and crying, "NOOO! WHY DUMBLEDORE?" she sobbed harder that I had ever seen her. Putting my around her shoulders, I asked, "What's wrong, sweetie?"

Nudge answered by jabbing at the book with her finger.

"She-she killed off Dumbledore!"

"Uh, look." I said, having absolutly no idea what I was talking about. "Let's just go have some lunch, and then you can read about the dead door, alright?"

Nudge looked up at me skeptically. "You know, you really have absolutly no idea what you're talking about, so don't even try."

Well. There went that plan.

"Okay, well, let's just go have some lunch anyway." I said quickly.

We stuffed ourselves with lunch, and then retired to the couch, trying to tune the broken television. Gazzy and Iggy were on the floor mapping out new plans for something-or-other that I didn't really want to know about. Fang was sitting in a chair, reading a magazine about the latest fashion. Good to know he's keeping up on the times, while the oldest girl in the house is most definetly _not._ Angle was blowing bubbles. The only abnormal thing was that there was no NudgeTalk. She was completely silent, enthralled in another book. Or maybe it was the same book. I couldn't really tell.

This strange scene was echoed often. Nudge was reading, often becoming very emotional. She continuted to go on about Dumplydoo, or whatever his name was who had died. She also talked a lot about some evil dude name Voldymart, and often shouted out odd words, such as, "Accio!" and "Lumos!". Time and time again, she had to explain to us what they meant

Around came Nudge's 11th birthday. I wasn't planning anything special, just a cake made by Iggy, so it was a normal day. Sometime in the morning, Nudge shouted, "Lumos!" and the lights came on. Even I, who knew what it meant, knew something odd was happeneing.

"NOX!" yelled Nudge. The light's turned off again. She turned to me, and yelled, "I'm a WITCH!"

"No, you're not." I said, noticing, but not saying anything about, a very Gasmanish giggle coming from behind the couch, which was convieniently next to the lightswitch. "I am." I then waved my arm, and said "Stupefy." Fang, who had just come in the doorway, suddenly fell backwards.

"Oh, my god!" Nudge cried, and rushed forward to help Fang, who seemed unconcious. When Nudge's attention was diverted, however, his fist shaped itself into a thumbs-up.

You might be wondering how in the world I know the spell stupefy. Well, without Nudge's knowing, Fang and I looked up a list of all the spells in those books she's reading, I think they're called _Harry Potter_ or something. Anyway, we now know the spells and their meanings, as do Gazzy and Iggy, and plan to… surprise… Nudge.

"Renervate!" she cried, pointing at Fang, who still seemed to be unconcious. He didn't stir. "Renervate!" she said again, frustrated. "It's not working!" she said, turning to me.

"Here, let my try." I said, trying to contain a smile. I crawled up to Fang, and bending low over his face, I whispered, "You're alive in two seconds. _Renervate!_" I cried, pointing at his chest. His eyes fluttered, and he sat up in an apparent daze.

Nudge looked at me as if I was a clown wearing a tutu. I looked down just to make sure, and was relieved to see the absence of a clown suit.

"Why didn't you tell me you were a witch?" she asked, astounded.

I grinned, and shrugged. "Maybe I didn't want the muggles to know." This word I also gleaned from a magical website that knew more than I did. Nudge looked extremely offended.

"I'm not a muggle!" she cried, a devastated look on her face. I just shrugged, a devious smile on my face.

And the day went on, most of it consisting of various scenes of Fang, Gazzy, Iggy and I pretending to do magic.

"Accio!" I cried, and Fang threw a book at me. I caught it, due to my awesome skills of awesomeness.

"Expulso." Said Gazzy lazily, and I poked a balloon with a pair of scissors. The funniest part was that Nudge couldn't tell that we were doing these things. She didn't see Fang throw the book or me popping the balloon. Her face of confusion grew each time we performed a piece of 'magic', and she repeatedly tried to do magic herself.

"Expelliarmus!" she cried, pointing a stick at me. I held my own stick still.

Apparently, the allknowing website didn't tell us that we needed sticks of magic to do magic, so we quickly went outside and broke some from the trees when Nudge pointed this out, trying to thwart us.

The day was soon done due to our festivities, and we went to bed still performing tricks.

"Wingardum Levioosa." I said, vaguely waving my hand in the direction of Gazzy, who jumped in the air and hung onto the banister behind him, giving him the appearance of floating in the air.

"It's Win_gar_dim Levi_os_a, not Levios_a_." Said Nudge importantly as she strutted past. She had given up trying to do magic later in the evening, and instead seemed to be trying to keep her pride. She stalked into her bedroom, her nose held high. I had a small moment of guilt, but that was soon swept away as a wonderful idea came into my head.

When I was sure Nudge was asleep, I snuck into her room and placed upon her bedside table a note that said,

_Dear Ms. Nudge,_

_ We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry…_

**Author's Note from Tassel again: and I'm about to post E is for Eyes by Flower K. Owl! Stay tuned!**


	5. Eyes

**One Letter Stand**

**Author's note: Um, hi, I'm Flower K. Owl. ARE YOU READY FOR IT?!?**

**I'll resist the temptation to totally pimp myself out, and will just let you (hopefully) enjoy my turn.**

**Disclaimer: even though James Patterson is teaching me the "right" way to brew coffee, I still don't own Maximum Ride.**

**Max: And everyday I look to the heavens and thank God for that.**

**E is for: Eyes**  
_By Flower K. Owl_

"Slug eyes!"

"Ew! That's gross Gazzy. I'd pick vampire eyes."

"Those are boring. If you think those are interesting, Nudge, you've become a twi-tard."

"Well," Nudge huffed, crossing her arms. "What do you want, Angel?"

"Butterfly eyes." She answered without a beat.

"And that's not weird? Do you know what they look like Angel?"

"Well, actually…" she said, biting her lip. "No, I don't know what they look like, Iggy. But they can't be that gross. Butterflies are pretty."

"Well, if _I_ could change my eyes, they could be anything, just as long as I could see."

"Then I'll choose for you!"

"Thanks, Gazzy," Iggy answered sarcastically and playfully. "Just don't give me bug eyes like you and Angel did to yourselves, okay?"

Gazzy stuck his tongue out at Iggy, though it lost some of it's affect on Iggy, him being _blind_ and all. "Party pooper. Anyways, what about Chameleon eyes? Then they'd stick out and stuff and you could look in two different directions at once."

"That's just plain weird. How about…"

"Goat eyes?" Nudge suggested. "The pupils are rectangular, and they come in pretty colors, too. Like Topaz." Here Nudge inserted a dreamy sigh, probably thinking about the vampire that was, to her, a "total hottie" (who also had topaz eyes, oddly enough).

I really didn't want to listen any longer. How could Fang stand it? He just walked right beside me, silent as ever, like a shadow.

The rest of the gang was creeping me out. Visions of weird eyes were dancing in my head, my little Angel with huge, bug-eyed and compounded eyes, that could never be hidden, Iggy with his clouded blue eyes replaced with goat's eyes, boxed pupils and all, and Gazzy with no eyes at all, simply two yellow stalks, poking out and waving around…

I clutched my head. "GAH! No more! This creepy conversation, if it could be called a conversation, is banned, forever! And no ifs, ands, or buts, is going to change it! It's driving me closer to the cliff of Insanity!"

Everyone looked like me like I had gone crazy. But I couldn't help it; this conversation had gone to 11 on the weirdness scale.

Nudge shrugged. "Sure Max. Whatever you say." I sighed, relived, as Nudge turned to Iggy, Gazzy and Angel, and spoke.

"So, if you could change your skin, what would it look like?"

**Yes, I made Nudge a Twilight fan, though I'm not one myself (even if I've read some of the books) :P you'll just have to deal with it.**

**Next is Free Food, by Nova Hall! Tag, you're it!**


	6. Free Food

**One Letter Stand**

**Author's Note by Ninja C: Today's episode is brought to you by the letter F, and the author Nova Hall, who enthusiastically complied with our challen – request.**

**F is for: Free Food**  
_By Nova Hall_

I loved flying. Probably more than I loved anything else, really. The sun was warm on our backs, heating us up from flying through the cold winter air. The clouds were thick, and we were happy to avoid them.

Flying low to avoid clouds can be a problem, though. Not that anyone could see us. I was sure we looked like overly large birds. But the fact remained that we could see what was going on down on Earth below.

"Max! Look! Lookie, lookie!" Angel shrieked, and I immediately did a 360.

Sure that nothing was going to attack us, I looked at her, then followed her finger to where she was pointing.

"Omigosh! Max? Can we go to the carnival? Please?! I've never been to a carnival before! I wanna ride the scrambler!" Nudge went on to ramble about the other rides she'd like to go on, but I cut her off before her hopes got too high.

"We are not going to a carnival." I said, purposefully not looking at them. I was afraid they'd give me Bambi eyes, and then we'd end up on some ride.

"Please, Max?" A voice said, coming up slowly above me.

"No, Gaz," I muttered, glancing at Fang for help. Our eyes met a minute before he shrugged.

I glanced at Iggy. He didn't seem to care. Just like Fang, he was leaving the decision making up to me.

I was almost afraid to look at the three younger ones. And when I did, I had a right to be.

This could not be good.

-

I looked around at the people running from one ride to the next. Sighing, I dug in my pocket for some cash, and bought 3 tickets for everyone.

I gave out orders as I handed them their tickets.

"Don't run off, stay where I can see you, don't ask for more tickets. As soon as you spend your tickets, we're outta here." I said, giving them all a look.

Nudge, Angel, and Gazzy ran to the gate of the closest ride, and I turned to Fang and Iggy.

"What do you guys want to do?" I asked them. Fang shrugged, looking around. Iggy just stood there, tense and unsure of what to do. I put a hand on his shoulder, then looked at Fang. He grabbed his hand in mine, wrapping his larger hand around my smaller one, and pulled me toward the crowd.

"Iggy, watch the group," I called over my shoulder to him, and he moved to the gate to wait.

I turned my attention back to Fang. "Where are you taking me?" I asked him. He didn't respond, so I looked ahead. Oh. Haunted house.

The ride wasn't all that scary, just meant to be fun. So when we got off, we'd spent our tickets.

I looked around for the flock, and immediately walked toward them.

"Are all your tickets spent?" I asked, looking at each of them. It looked like they'd spent the rest of their tickets on the scrambler. They looked kind of dizzy…

As they nodded, I looked around for Fang. I started to panic as I looked through the crowd, but he appeared behind me, like always.

"What are you doing?" I asked, then noticed the box he was holding. He pressed his finger to his lips, murmuring "Free food," as he hid behind me.

A couple seconds later, a hotdog vender walked by, looking confused as to where his box of hotdogs had gone.

I looked at Fang, who straightened up and smirked.

We took off, munching on hotdogs. Thankfully, food cheered me up. But I still had to tell the flock not to drop food on people walking below.

**Still Ninja C: Thank you, Nova. Next up shall be G is for Go Green, by your celebrity guest, dimistar546! Huzzah! (Don't forget. Like our friend Akira. -pointed look- XD)**


	7. Go Green

**One Letter Stand**

**Bonjour, Ninja C here again with the author's note: dimistar546 says that computer access was unfeasible yesterday, so this chapter is a day late. However, H is for Hoopla will still be brought to you tomorrow (I'm looking at you, Sir Spamalot. And pointing. Menacingly. You're scared. I can tell.)**

**G is for: Go Green**

_By dimistar546_

I crashed through the door, sweat oozing out of my pores after a morning flight. I paused 'Global Heartwarming' by Lisa Keating on the Flock's iPod, and pulled the headphones out of my ears. I opened the fridge and pulled out a fresh water bottle, and with a flick of my wrist, the bottle was open and I had finished half of the bottle.

"Max? Is that you?" Iggy called, walking into the kitchen. He pointed to a plate on the counter. "There's your breakfast. I saved you a plate." Piled on the dish were eggs, pancakes, and soft bacon -- my favorite. After draining half of the bottle, I thanked him and finished my water.

I tossed the bottle into the trash, and grabbed the plate and a fork, and sat at the table. "Max?" Nudge asked, coming to sit at the table. I looked up from my food, quickly chewing and swallowing and putting my fork down.

"Yes, Nudge?"

She took a deep breath. "Well, I was watching this thing on TV about how water bottles spend a really, really, long time in large garbage piles and stuff, and how they take a really long time to be decomposed and they do horrors to the environment. So, I looked it up on the computer, and it's true. Some of the simplest things we throw out could be recycled! Like cardboard! I was really sad, and I was hoping we could go green!" Nudge pointed to her bright green shirt, and smiled when I leaned in closer to read what it said.

There were several peace signs, a hand making the peace sign, a slogan of 'Reduce, Reuse, Recycle', and a lot of hearts. Did Fang get her this shirt? I don't remember him buying it. How much did it cost? I simply looked at her, and her smile faded slowly.

"What? Do you not like the idea?" I shrugged.

"I'm fine with it. But how would we do that?" She beamed again, revealing a pearly set of teeth.

"Well, first we need a special bag or trash can for all aluminum, plastic, and paper. Then, we bring it to some nearby recycling center. Come on, Max! It'll be fun!" Nudge grabbed my hands and shook them. It felt like I was in a soap opera, and I had just been asked to 'give him a try.' Rolling my eyes, I nodded. Nudge jumped up, squealing and clapping her hands. She raced out of the room, yelling for Angel.

"Actually, she has a point," a deep voice said, and Fang walked into the kitchen, holding a mug in hand. He placed the mug carefully into the sink, and sat down at the table next to me. "She told me all about it."

I raised an eyebrow. He smirked and poked me in the thigh. Electricity coursed through my tired veins, and my body snapped to attention.

"She does. Halfway through the program, she yelled for me to come downstairs. I had only shaved half of my face," he said, pointing to his right cheek. I moved so I was closer to his cheek, and, upon further investigation, he still had a centimeter of stubble. I placed my hand on his cheek, enjoying the spiky hair. Still smiling, I glanced up into his eyes, and he immediately caught me with those onyx eyes of his.

"That... Seems like a good idea," I whispered, moving closer. I closed my eyes, and as my lips were going to meet his, Nudge banged through the doorway, holding a large amount of plastic bottles in her arms.

"Max! Fang! Lookit!" We leapt away from each other like we both had the Plague. Nudge dropped the large amount of plastic onto the table. "I learned the name of our town, and there's a recycling center down the cliff!" I smiled.

"Good job, Nudge! We could probably do this!" I said, and she beamed.

Fang murmured under his breath, "That's what she said." I punched his arm and stifled laughter.

I skipped to the stairs and called up. "Hey, Gaz! Come here!" Holding two Transformers action figures (I immediately recognized them as Optimus Prime and Bumblebee), he bounded down the stairs, his blonde hair tousled cutely.

"Yeah, Max?"

"Do you have any garbage bags?" He thought for a moment, then dashed to his room. Gazzy returned a few moments later, holding several white bags in his hands.

"Here," Gazzy said, handing them to me. He looked curious, and he followed me into the kitchen. "What's with all of the bags?"

"We're going to have a recycling project!" I said happily, helping Nudge and Iggy put all the bottles into the bags. He raised his eyebrows.

"Could I help?" He said, looking up at me with wide blue eyes. I smiled, and kissed him on the hair.

"Of course you can," I stated, and went to stand by Fang. "Do you know where Angel is?" I asked. He shrugged, and pointed upstairs to her bedroom. I nodded and walked up the stairs to find Angel. I found her bunkered down in her room, taking a nap on her sagging mattress. I picked her up and carried her downstairs, her rubbing her large blue eyes.

"Hiya, Max," she whispered, and rested against my shoulder.

A few hours later, we had packed all of the plastic in the house (a surprisingly large amount -- Iggy and Gazzy had a ridiculous number of plastic soda bottles under their beds) into the garbage bags and we headed out, a bag in each hand. We all stood at the edge of the cliff, and one by one, our wings wide open and strong, we jumped off the edge and landed in the dense woods underneath.

"We should do this all the time! At least once a month!" Nudge chirped cheerily, and I nodded. I had one bag in my arm, and Angel was holding onto my other hand, dragging a bag behind her. She had woken up considerably since I had shaken her awake.

Fang and I tossed our bags in first into the big recycling bin outside the building, and the rest of the Flock followed our example.

I had to admit, I did feel a bit better when I threw the bag in. We flew back up to our house, and settled in the living room. "Should we do this monthly, like Nudge said?" I suggested, getting up and walking to the kitchen to make some lunch. The Flock made noises of agreement, their mouths filled with egg sandwiches (the food fairies had come while we were sleeping).

So it was decided then. We would try our hardest to save our planet Earth, and who knows, maybe our efforts will mean something in the future.

**Foreshadowing, foreshadowing! Yayayay!**

**Sir Spamalot is doing H for Hoopla! :D**

**I had so much trouble... The creative juices haven't been flowing lately. It was fun to write though! Enjoyed it bundles. :)**

**Addendum by Ninja C: I like you. I like you a lot. You wrote happy Fax fluff. *weird laugh that is a mix of giddy and maniacal***

**Sir Spamalot – we'll see you tomorrow.**


	8. Hoopla

**One Letter Stand**

_**From Tassel: Delay was my fault! Sorry! Sir Spamalot was on time.**_

**The deadline has been met (barely)! I banged my head against my keyboard and something came out! And here below are the results...**

**H is for: Hoopla**

_By Sir Spamalot_

It was my first REAL Friday. The week had been a nervous wreck of words I didn't know and wondering if a robot would burst through the ceiling and kill us all. Y'know, normal stuff like that. I stomped in after Fang glaring as he noiselessly shut the door.

I walked into our kinda-home and dumped the ridiculously heavy backpack I was carrying on top of the counter.

It landed square on the bag of open flour.

A cloud of white dust rose, like a mushroom cloud of death. A second later everything in Anne's kitchen was covered in a fine layer of white, including me.

"Oops."

Anne heard me and she was already horrified. That word did not get along well with me.

"Max? What's all the hoopla?" She called and I could hear her footsteps clacking ominously on the wooden floor.

I had grabbed a broom and was anxiously sweeping. "Nothing! Nothing's

wro… Wait. What? What the heck's a hoop-lah?"

"A hoopla… you know what it means." She said and then gasped in absolute dismay. "The kitchen! What happened? How…?"

I ignored her shock, instead squinting my eyes at her. "That's not a real word."

"Whether it is or not is not the point!" How did you DO this? I can't even make this much of a mess in a year-"

I interrupted her, of course. "And even if it was a real word who on earth would want to use it? No one even knows what it means anyways."

"What it means is you're cleaning this up! Now!"

I grabbed a broom and started sweeping.

"It's stupid to use words when no one even knows what you're saying! I mean seriously who knows what a hoopla is?"

"A what?" Nudge asked walking through the door. "Jeez! Max, this is worse than the time you tried to make those cookies! Ooh, or the time you made the cake. Hey, I wonder if Iggy will bake us a cake this week? I mean, we haven't had one in, like… forever! You know what else I miss? Those burgers we got at the restaurant in New York, they - " Angel skipped in behind her.

"Hi, Max! Guess what we did in school today?"

"Tell me later, okay? Wait… Nudge- Do you know what a 'hoopla' is?" I questioned.

"Huh?"

"See! She reads the car manuals for fun and she has no clue."

"Max," Anne sighed. "Start cleaning." I grabbed a broom and began forcing the stuff into mounds.

Nudge snickered as she tossed my piles into the air and pranced under them.

"Look, Max! It's snowing!" Angel giggled along with her and tossed some more flour in my hair.

I glared at them and pointed to a dustpan with raised eyebrows.

Nudge backed away anxiously, dragging Angel along with her. "Just remembered, got lots of homework to do, gotta go, bye!"

Gazzy walked in and plopped his backpack on the floor. Then he saw me, Anne, and the now white kitchen.

"Whoa." I turned my laser glare onto him.

"YOU," I intoned. "Do you know what a 'hoopla' is?"

"No… Iggy! Don't come in… let's go- uh, find Nudge?" I chucked a handful of flour at his back as he ran.

Anne was now sighing. "Max, I know you are not used to rules and that you're trying your best to do well at school but really!"

I spent five more minutes sweeping and ranting in my head about the stupidity of the English language. Half the worlds no one used and no one knew what any of 'em meant!

Fang appeared in the doorway, and a smirk was stretched across his face.

"What do you want?" I snarled.

"A hoopla; bustling excitement or activity; commotion; hullabaloo;

to-do."

He was laughing at me, at least as much as Fang ever would. I smiled my most frightening smile at him, and let evil fill my eyes. Then he was covered in all the flour that was conveniently left the bag and I was running like I had death chasing me. Which, in a way, I did.

**A/N by Ninja C: AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO IS FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW AT ROY DISNEY'S DEATH? Sorry, I realize that's off-topic, but I think I'm having a heart attack right now.**

**Anyways, next up shall be I is for Internal on Friday, by Cocoa987!**


	9. Internal

**One Letter Stand**

**SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG!! Finals, and all that. For all those people who hate scary movies...**

**I is for: Internal**

_By Cocoa987_

The credits closed on the creepiest movie Fang had ever seen in his life.

Angel yawned. Max smoothed Angel's hair. Nudge threw another handful of now-cold popcorn into her mouth. Fang twitched.

"Well then," he said, shuddering only a little bit. Max yawned and glanced at her watch.

"Bed, guys. Night, everyone," she said, climbing over the blankets, stretching, and wandering down the hall to her room. Fang took a look at the DVD cover again. _Internal_. A screaming face took up most of the cover. Fang shuddered again.

The occupants of the room disappeared one by one, Angel trailing after Nudge sleepily.

"That was awesome!" Fang heard Iggy say to Gazzy quietly.

"I know! The way that guy- and the other guy, with the- you know? So cool!" The two cackled and high fived.

Fang suddenly had the horrifying sense that they'd get into something terrible if he lost sight of them.

He followed them quickly down the hall, stopping only to kick the DVD case under some blankets. He walked into the room he was currently sharing with the boys. They were both in bed, almost asleep. Their conversation still revolved around that creepy movie.

"Well, I didn't think it was that good," Fang interrupted, not willing to hear what he considered the creepiest part replayed yet again. Iggy turned in the direction of his voice and smirked.

"You were scared, weren't you?" He said wickedly. Fang tried to act innocent and failed miserably.

"Nah," he said, playing it off as coolly as he could and escaping the room on the pretense of water.

"It's all in your head, Fang. It's all in your head," Gazzy said, mimicking the creepy disembodied voice perfectly. Fang couldn't stop a shudder, but he was out the door before they could notice.

It was a long and creepy walk down the hallway. Every little noise made him jump, and he wished Jeb was back from wherever he had gone. He was convinced that something was going to jump out from behind a door and do something bad to him. He wasn't quite sure what.

Glass of water shaking only slightly in his hand, he walked down the hallway that seemed to stretch on forever.

It's all in your head, Fang, he reminded himself. All in your head...

He stopped in the doorway - Iggy and Gazzy were already asleep. He turned his head, and caught a flash of something shiny under his bed. It looked like an eye. Watching him.

It's all in your head, he told himself. Still, it wouldn't hurt to be sure.

He took a deep breath and then took a running leap toward the bed, clearing the frame and landing on the pillows, miraculously managing to not spill his water.

Putting the glass safely on the table, he crawled to the edge of his bed and peeked over carefully.

A pair of green eyes stared back at him. He barely muffled his shriek that sounded embarrassingly like Nudge's squeals. One of Angel's stuffed animals had somehow made it under his bed. He wasn't going to ask why.

He shoved the bunny or whatever it was further under the bed and dug into his sheets.

The night inched by unbearably slowly. Every noise startled Fang, and the sound of the main character screaming replayed itself over and over in his head.

"It's all in your head it's all in your head it's all in your head," he chanted under his breath. "All in your head all in your head all in your head."

Finally, as the sky started to turn gray, he reached under his bed, pulled out Angel's toy, and clutched it in his arms. It would be alright - as long as no one ever found out.

Fang woke up to a camera flash. Gazzy leaned over him wickedly, camera in hand. "Were you scared, Fang? Were you scared that the big bad monster was gonna get you?" Fang's eyes shot from the camera to Gazzy and Iggy's grinning face to the stuffed animal in his arms. He threw it across the room and pulled the covers over his head with a moan.

Max walked in, completely oblivious. "Breakfast, guys. And then who wants to watch _Internal_ again?" Iggy and Gazzy cheered, and followed Max out of the room.

Fang sighed, hopped out of the safety of his bed, and reluctantly picked up Angel's toy. It had kept the monsters away last night. He was going to need all the luck he could get to make it through the movie again.

**Ninja C: …This is uncanny. You wrote about a scary movie and the effect it had on Fang… right after Unigu Mika and I had a long conversation about the scary movie **_**we**_** just watched and how we can't go to the bathroom alone now. That's just… weird. But it was awesome.**

**Next up: J is for Just Jimmy, by Tassel's and my lovely friend PorcelainNinja. (We're ninja-sistahs!)**


	10. Just Jimmy

**One Letter Stand**

**Note from Tassel: Sorry! Lateness is my fault. I got grounded-ed.**

**Disclaimer: I really, **_**really**_** wish I was James Patterson, but, so far, the heels-clicking thing ain't working out. **_**There's no place like a publishing house...there's **__**no**__** place like a publishing house...**_**Darn.**

**J is for: Just Jimmy  
_By PorcelainNinja_**

Nudge walked into the kitchen on the first day at her new school -- well, at any lowercase-'S'-school, really. She wasn't entirely sure she approved the change. Well, at least there was no torture on the menu...for today, anyway. Max and Iggy were already in the kitchen, making the usual feast-o'-breakfast. That was one of the best parts of living at Anne's house: The flock could eat pretty much whenever and whatever they wanted! No more going hungry for hours on end! Nudge grinned, then immediately frowned again, Max's uniform reminding her of the main reason _not_ to go to school. Ugh. These _clothes!_ I mean, if everyone had to wear the same thing, why not get someone who actually had a sense of style to create them? _Oh, well._ Nudge sighed and picked up her backpack, grabbing a last piece of toast on the way.

As the flock walked down the school hallways, teachers came and picked up one or two of them at a time. Finally, it was Nudge's turn. Her teacher led her into a classroom that was covered in posters, stacks of books, and...people. Nudge did a quick head count (twenty of them, not counting the teacher), then casually swiveled around, making note of all the possible exits.

"Your desk is right there," the teacher said, pointing.

"Okay!"

"And your name...?"

"Tiffany," Nudge answered. Tiffany was _way_ cooler than Krystal, although she still liked--oops. She must have already said her name was Krystal. She quickly improvised.

"Uh-huh. Tiffany-Krystal," she decided. That was even better! Hyphenated names were _so cool_. In fact--man, that teacher was talking again. It was getting so she couldn't even hear herself think. Something about...a spelling test? Well, OK. She'd take the test. _I hope she doesn't expect me to do good on it or anything. _

Nudge, as it turned out, finished the spelling test first. This may or may not have had to do with the fact that she completely guessed on all the words except number 17: "Avian." As she walked back to her desk, the boy right across the aisle from her looked up and grinned at her, then looked back at his test. Nudge tilted her head to the side, puzzled. Did she know this kid? She thought back. When the teacher had taken attendance, she had memorized all the names by force of habit. This kid's name was James. _But I think his nickname's Jimmy, 'cause that's what the other kids call him,_ Nudge remembered. She sat down and studied him. He was nice-looking, with dark brown hair that was almost black falling down into his eyes while he worked, and a black T-shirt with an electric guitar on it. As she watched him, he looked up, almost as if he sensed her looking at him, and glanced across at her. When his eyes met hers, he looked back down again immediately and flushed a little. _It looks like he's embarrassed he got caught doing something. But he's not cheating, is he? I don't see how he could have done anything else...good googly gumdrops. These regular kids are weird._

Later that day, Nudge met Max in the library.

"Max! Max! I have so much to tell you!" Nudge cried out, racing over to where her tall, blond flock leader was standing and glaring at some redheaded girl. "We had a spelling test, and there's two posters of birds on our walls, and our teacher's really nice, and I've got a hyphen in my name, and some kid sorta looked like he was cheating but he wasn't and ohmigosh guess what? It's Katie's birthday, so she brought in cupcakes, and she let me have _five_, one of each color, and they all had _sprinkles _on them, and ohmigosh guess what else? I finished first in the spelling test which I think means I'm, like, a genius, and we have a math quiz tomorrow, and it's almost time to go home already!" Nudge took a huge breath and then smiled up at Max, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Max held up a finger to keep Nudge quiet while she digested the information overload. "Um, OK, so, how were the cupcakes? We already knew you were a genius, and...what's this about a boy cheating?"

"Chocolatey! And also he was peeking at me kind of but then he blushed and looked away so he looked kinda guilty but he didn't look like he was cheating and anyway I was done so how could he have been? I dunno, Max, do you think he's an Eraser? He looks kinda too young for that."

Max listened and then smiled, slightly bemused, down at Nudge. "No, sweetie, I don't think he was cheating. I think he was blushing 'cause you were looking at him."

"You mean, he's afraid of me? I _knew _I shouldn't've been staring, but he's _really cute! _Like, Neville-Longbottom cute, but only in the fifth movie, 'cause he's kinda fat in the first four. You know?"

"No, I don't think he was scared of you...oh, never mind. Just don't worry about it, OK?"

"OK!" Nudge said, happily, her mind already on a completely different track. "So, guess what I learned today?"

That night, Fang and Max were talking in "his" room while Fang blogged away. Max told him about having a sort-of friend, and the know-it-all voice, and...

"Oh, and I think Nudge's got an admirer already," she said, almost jokingly, but Fang looked up at once. His face, as usual, betrayed no emotion, but his voice nearly gave him away.

"What do you mean?" Fang responded, looking down at the computer once more, but still in protective-older-brother mode.

"Oh, nothing much. Apparently he smiled at her once, and then they kept glancing at each other and catching gazes, then looking away again. Nothing major," Max said lightly, but Fang could hear the hint of worry that was present in her tone, too.

"Well, as long as that's it...we can't have her going out on dates at her age," Fang said, trying to joke, but hearing how much he sounded like a middle-aged father. Ugh, this was embarrassing. Not to mention that the distracting image of that girl in his class--what was her name, again? Lissa?--kept popping into his head.

Back in her room, Nudge tossed and turned, but couldn't fall asleep. Finally, she took out the sketchbook that she had hidden under her bed for just such times as these. Sitting up on her bed, she bent her neck so that her hair fell over the page, hiding it from view, should anyone happen to come in. Dark, dark hair, and an embarrassed smile...James. Or Jimmy? She'd have to find out tomorrow. She smiled and turned over, falling asleep at once.

"Hi! I'm new here!" Nudge said brightly to the cute kid in her English/Language Arts class. "Can you help me find my next class?"  
"Sure," he responded, laughing at her energy, but not in a mean way. "Where're you headed?"

"Um...Math, with Ms. Greeley. Do you know where that is?"

"Sure," he said, offering his hand and bowing jokingly. _He looks like an usher from a fancy hotel!_ Nudge squealed internally, then, sticking her nose in the air, pretended she was a snotty guest and placed her hand in his.

"You may lead me there," she said, pompously, then dissolved into giggles. He laughed too, but didn't let go of her hand, she noticed.

"Right away, Miss...?"

"Tiffany-Krystal," Nudge answered, trying, but utterly failing, to be haughty again. "And you're James, right?"

"Jimmy," he answered, smiling right at her and bowing to pretend to kiss her hand. "Just Jimmy."

**And from Tassel: The next chapter is K is for Killing, by Domination-List. Get excited!**


	11. Killing

**One Letter Stand**

**Hello peoples of the world! I am BGPixieQueen77 (previously known as Domination-List)!**

**I have been recruited by Ninja C to write this chapter. Heheheheh... Sorry I'm naturally crazy.**

**So here is my chapter.**

**K is for: Killing  
_By BGPixieQueen77_**

It's dark. Very dark. Am I dead? I probably am. Then again I hurt. I don't think dead people feel pain. But are we sure I'm not dead?

Hmmmmm.... What happened again? Oh yeah!

_"FANG! STOP IT!" Max shouted. "YOU'RE GONNA KILL HER!"_

_But Fang wouldn't stop. It was like he was possessed. He just kept swinging the metal pole at me._

_I remember Angel going up to snag another pole, but I couldn't afford to focus on anything but dodging Fang's rapid attacks._

_"Nudge! Catch!"_

_I ducked another swing and grabbed the pole Angel threw at me._

_Now armed, I was prepared to fight back. I matched Fang's swings hit for hit._

_He hesitated for a split second and I took my chance. I swung at his arm and realized why I had been attacked so suddenly._

_It wasn't Fang. It was an almost perfect clone. I was no longer reluctant to hit it, not even because I had just removed his arm. _

_I swung faster and harder. The last thing I remember is a jar in my arms and a very painful twinge on my head._

So now I wonder, did that hit to the head kill me? Or am I just unconscious? Because my head really hurts and I feel like screaming but I can't seem to make my voice work so it's really hard to tell but I think I'm alive cause dead people don't hurt and-

_NUDGE! Your thoughts are faster than your mouth!_

Angel... That was Angel thinking to me. That means... Woohoo, I'm alive!!!!!

I groaned and opened my eyes to see Max and Angel looking at me worried.

"Nice hit Nudge. You knocked his head to the other side of the clearing!" Max said smiling.

Just then Iggy, Gazzy, and- get this- Fang walked into the clearing with bags of food.

"What happened here?" Gazzy asked looking around.

I was feeling in the mood to mess with them.

"I killed Fang!" I said smiling happily.

**Well there is my chapter! And now before I go *pulls out magical wand* I now dub Ninja C to write the next chapter... L is for Lucky. *audience of pixies applauds for Ninja C***

**Farewell, peasants, please review!**


	12. Lucky

**One Letter Stand**

**_Note from Tassel: Ooh, look, darlings! An early chapter! Aren't you all glad Ninja C is punctual?_**

**A/N: WRITIN' PAST MIDNIGHT TIME! I'm also currently watching A Very Potter Musical for, like, the nineteenth time (only a minor exaggeration if I'm wrong; I'm ballparking here). Which can only mean one thing: this… will end badly.**

**Let's get to it, shall we?**

**Disclaimer: OMG I just saw a commercial for **_**I, Alex Cross**_**, and in it JP said he would kill Alex off unless we all bought it. Now, I'm not one to bend to peer pressure… but WE HAVE TO DO IT FOR THE CHARACTERS! DON'T LET AN INNOCENT MAIN CHARACTER DIE!**

**L is for: Lucky  
_By Ninja C_**

St. Patrick's Day is one of those holidays that flies right over the flock's heads. We can't really be bothered to find something green to wear one day out of the year, and we're too young to get drunk… although I suppose you can't prove that…

That's why I was surprised when Iggy came up to me on March 17 and said (in a pathetic attempt at an accent), "Oi, Max! 'Tis the day of me high-born kinsmen!"

"No, it's not," I scoffed characteristically. "You're not Irish."

Iggy pointed at his red_dish_ hair. "Your hair isn't bright red, doofus," I pointed out. "Is your almost-sort-of-red hair supposed to mean you're a leprechaun now? Where's your pot o' gold, Iggy?"

"Hey, I've got the luck o' the Irish on my side!" Iggy declared haughtily.

I crossed my arms, smirking. "Prove it."

Fang walked between the two of us on his way down the hall.

"You look like a girl, Fang," Iggy drawled.

My eyes widened, and I backed up a step so as not to be hit with any of the force with which Fang would surely assault Iggy. But what did Fang say in response?

"True dat."

_True dat?_ I didn't say anything. I couldn't. I was going through shock. My brain was trying to process, to figure our if I'd missed something. _True dat?!_

I snapped back to reality after failing to understand this, and Fang was looking at me with his brow furrowed. Iggy had left, after shooting me a triumphant glance.

"…What just happened?" I finally stammered.

"Don't worry," Fang dismissed it, coming to stand by my side. "He's not really lucky. He paid me to agree with anything he said, so you'd think he was Irish, for whatever reason."

"Nudge's clothes are simply repulsive today, don't you think, Fang?" Iggy called from the kitchen.

"Yup," Fang agreed noncommittally, rolling his eyes. Nudge shrieked in indignation.

I sighed. _I'd_ be the lucky one if I could get through this day unscathed.

**A/N: Yup, it was suckish. Sorry, people. I got sidetracked by the song **_**Oliver Wood**_** by The Basilisk in Your Pasta, which is HILARIOUS. **_**We want your sex – ahh!**_

**Next up, Akira43 with M is for Mathematics. HOORAY! I missed you, Akira. And I want to see your face. Only four more days!**

_**Happy holidays, everyone!**_


	13. Mathematics

**One Letter Stand**

**A/N: Yes, I'm late. Again. But only because I'm a procrastinator at heart, and the day I had planned to write it on (being yesterday) was spent in the car, traveling nearly a thousand miles to our vacation destination (hey, that rhymes!).**

**My apologies for the delay.**

**Disclaimer: If I was JP...um, I don't know what I'd do. Probably not write fanfiction. With all the books he cranks out in a year, he probably wouldn't have the time.**

M is for: Mathematics  
_By Akira43_

Maximum

_ Maximum chaos. Maximum stress. Maximum frustration._

Antics

_The antics of young children. The teasing. The pranks. The tears. The mess._

Tiresome

_ Every day. More of the same. Running here and there. Trying to hold things together._

Heartache

_ For the families we never knew. For the man that was our savior._

Exhaustion

_Running. Always running._

Mission

_To save the world. To destroy my sanity._

Anger

_ Someone who doesn't know when to just leave you alone. Someone who's always in your head._

Total

_Totally just extra baggage. An extra mouth to feed._

Insane

_ Going insane. Going to end this. Going to shut it up._

Conclusion

_The end. Where it all comes together. When everything adds up, and it just isn't right._

Saved

_The one person who saved me from my self. The one that I'll save by living._

**A/N: Yeah, that was my way of wiggling out of a prompt I couldn't think of anything for. The idea was to show everything that pushed Max to trying to cut out the chip all added up together, the conclusion being the sum of an equation, but then Fang is the one who saved her.**

**Hope everyone had a great holiday season, and thanks for reading! Be sure to stay tuned for the next chapter, N is for Neurosis by Tassel630!**


	14. Neurosis

**One Letter Stand**

**A/N: Oh, geez. I'm sorry for disappearing, guys. I was grounded. Sorry. Here's N, and hopefully we'll be running smoothly from here on out.**

**On a lighter note! I'm breaking the humor trend! (Actually, I guess that's not any lighter.) I tried to get a funny way to write **_**Neurosis**_** and couldn't come up with one, so I tried making it darker. And here's the result.**

**Disclaimer: Um… I like pancakes? What am I talking about, that's not a question. I LIKE PANCAKES. There, better. I give this disclaimer my stamp of approval.**

**N is for: Neurosis**  
_By Tassel630_

_Foolishness. Idiocy, _some voice seemed to hiss in my ear. _Stupid girl, to tell him! Never reveal your weaknesses!_

"It's _Fang_," I muttered to myself out loud. "It's not like I – that's not a _weakness_. Turning into an Eraser – not me. It's something they're doing to me."

_Stupid, stupid_, the menace in the corner of my mind snapped. _They could be tracking him, he could be bugged!_

"So?" I challenged the voice out loud. I wondered if this was some new horror, another voice in my head that would try to turn me against the Flock. But the menacing whisper was sounding more and more like my own paranoia.

_What if something terrible happens, and I know something he doesn't, and I can't tell him and I'm an Eraser and he attacks me? What if I hurt someone? What if – _

"Shut it," I told myself, talking out loud again like a freak. What the hell, I was a freak. I rolled over and pulled my backpack, a makeshift pillow, over my heard as though that would silence my own fear. I was sounding less paranoid now. Less paranoid – more realistic. What if something actually happened?

_What if I'm the bug? What if they're hearing everything we're saying, following us everywhere? Can they hear inside my mind? The Voice can, oh God, the Voice – _

_They're following us, everywhere, we'll never get away, we can't, and they know everything, everything – _

And Angel was there, angelic and innocent. I leapt toward her, but a hand held me back. Fang beckoned solemnly, so I stepped toward him. The world melted – we were alone, and he motioned me down an ally, backing in front of me so that his subtly panicked eyes never left mine. And then his face split somehow, and he wasn't afraid anymore, he smiled. His mouth was filled with teeth, huge, shark-like, wicked incisors, his grin too wide for his face and his teeth too many for his grin.

I tried to spin on the spot and run, but it was like jelly around me, moving in slow motion, terror flying against the boundaries of my too-slow body. My wings dragged uselessly on the ground behind me, and he dropped from nowhere in front of me, and I seemed to glimpse Ari snarling in his face. His foot crashed onto my useless, dragging wing, and I twisted in pain, falling at his feet, and the data stream flew before my eyes, strings of numbers and blueprint sketches and photographs and words, meaningless words, and more numbers, skimmed across my face contorted into a silent scream and seemed to cram themselves into my mouth, tearing at my face, stuffing themselves into my head until it exploded –

I thrashed free from my blanket and threw myself at a wide-eyed Fang, who was on watch and tending the remaining coals of our fire, and I clung to his shirt and bit my lip against a scream. There was no sound except crickets and the low breathing of the others, strewn about the small clearing. I pressed my face into his shoulder and his arm curled uncertainly around me.

He said nothing while I tried to steady myself, my deep, shuddering breaths disturbing the calm. Finally he whispered, "Bad dream?"

I shivered. "I'm going mad, Fang," I whispered to his shirt. "I can't do this. I can't take it. My brain is unraveling."

He pulled my hands away from his shirt and shifted me so that I sat awkwardly next to him while he still held me against his chest with one arm. I gazed miserably at the fire.

"We can do this," he whispered to the top of my head. "We haven't been attacked in four days now. We'll survive, the six of us. We'll – "

"No, you don't understand!" I cried, turning my face to look up at him. "I can't do it, I can't – They'll find – I'm going mad!" I said again. "I'm going mad, and I can't – "

"Shh," he muttered, and I realized my voice had been rising with hysteria. "We'll be fine. We'll survive this, we always do. Together. And you are not going mad." The firelight shone in his eyes. "We take care of each other. We'll be fine. You'll be fine. And you are not going mad." His eyes flashed. "I won't let you."

And he said it with such conviction that I believed him.

**A/N: I feel better now. One should always write angst when feeling angsty. Though this wasn't exactly angst… whatever.**

**Trivia fact! Neurosis is the old name for Anxiety Disorders. Hence the paranoia here.**

**And up next (hopefully soon… sorry again!) with O is for Offensive is LostInTheDarkVoid!**

…**I should probably say something to close now, eh? Um. See you guys later.**

**I am so witty.**


	15. Offensive

**One Letter Stand**

**A/N from Tassel: To the American readers: no, those aren't spelling mistakes. Please don't comment on them. I engaged in quite a long battle with my computer (which is American) in order to preserve the original spelling.**

**A/N from Void: Well here it is, O for Offensive ;D I hope you guys like it! **

**Disclaimer: I doubt James Patterson would ever write something so weird like this is.  
**  
**O is for: Offensive  
**_By LostInTheDarkVoid_

The general's blue eyes watched in silence as another of his men fell. The enemy cheered, striking up the deep bass drums in the army band's line, their strange, high-pitched voices rattling out another tune at this small victory. Looking down upon his men, they seemed to shy away from the loud noise, shuffling backwards slowly.  
It had been like this all day; the enemy would advance with swords drawn and drums booming, and the defenders would be pushed backwards further each time. Even though the defenders outnumbered the enemy, their weapons lacked in strength and technology.

And slowly, little by little, they were being forced to retreat backwards to their fort.  
A clamour rose up from outside the chamber door, a mixture of muffled voices and the shifting of armour. One of the guards that had been posted outside poked his head in, clearing his throat. But before he could open his mouth to speak, the heavy iron door was thrust aside with an almighty bang as it hit the wall. However, where the guard jumped and cursed at the loud noise, the general seemed unfazed.

The intruder stomped into the middle of the room, walking around the chair by the window, and faced the general. A wad of papers was dropped onto the small chair-side table on the general's right, causing a small glass to come crashing to the floor.

"Well?" asked the intruder, as the last of the tinkling pieces of glass fell still.

The general continued to ignore the girl standing in front of him for a while more, his fingers tapping out a soft beat on the oak chair's armrest. His sharp blue eyes gazed lifelessly out onto the battlefield, watching as the defenders began to lose more ground.

"No, no." he said eventually, his voice barely raised, "I don't think we need another well. The one in the town square will suffice for now."

The girl snorted impatiently. "Is this all you do all day? Sit around, making stupid jokes?"

"I thought it was quite a good one," smiled the general, flashing his white teeth, "Didn't you?"

The girl just rolled her brown eyes at him. If there was something she'd learned how to do over the years, it was letting the general amuse himself with his puns and jokes.

"As your advisor, lest you forget, I have gathered reports from around the city. This is today's report." She announced, pointing at the thick pile of papers. "Casualties, injuries, strategies, losses. In this," the girl waved a yellow folder in his face, "is the scout and spy reports from the lot you sent out last week."

The general took the folder from the girl, and opened it. Inside, there was one short report from one of his scouts and another, much longer report. Throwing the scout report to the side, he picked up the longer piece of paper. On it were several names he didn't recognise, and then a very detailed report about something that he really couldn't be bothered reading about.

"What's this?"

"That? Why, that's the list of scouts who didn't return, and a letter from headquarters. You know, the headquarters you keep on ignoring, and has pretty much abandoned you now. " She said, voice dripping with annoyance.

The general scanned the list, counting the names. There were twelve in total; each marked with a red 'x' next to them.

"I only sent eight scouts." He stated matter-of-factly, "So why are there twelve names?"

It was the girl's turn to sigh. "No. You sent eight scouts, but four infiltrators too. None returned." The girl turned to look out the window. "General, I think it's time we used the secret strategy. If we don't do something soon, there will be no one left to defend the townspeople. All action we've taken since the enemy arrived is defensive, defensive, defensive."

She turned back to face the general. "I called a meeting with your officers. The plan has been set in motion already, and is ready to go. All we need is for you to send the message. Confirm the code." The girl walked out, her dark complexion fading quickly into the dark corridor, leaving the general to listen to her footsteps fade away.

He sat on his chair, watching the battle rage on outside again. She was right – it was time to act while they still could.

The general also left the chamber, his robes swishing behind him as he hastened past his guards. Looking back over his shoulder as he walked, he called out to them.

"Commence operation; Offensive!" As the guards hurried away in the opposite direction, the general smiled grimly.

The enemy would never see it coming. Operation Offensive had already begun.

The general's blue eyes stared out from behind the cover of the forest in silence. From here he could see both sides clash together, the sound of metal ringing in the air. There was no sign of life in the woods; all birds had disappeared long ago, when the sound of advancing troops first arrived, and any small animals had quickly returned to their dens when the general and his cavalry had snuck through it. A layer of frost made its home on the bushes and leafy forest floor, emitting loud crunching sounds whenever one of the horses happened to move about. Although the enemy was too caught up in the battle to notice the shuffling sounds, it still made his men jumpy and cautious, throwing looks over their shoulders from time to time.

A bird call sounded down the line of horses, signalling that the last regiment of foot soldiers were moving out from both the defenders and enemy lines. Now the enemy would think that the general had thrown all of his men out to battle in a last-ditch effort, and had responded by moving the last of their troops out too.

The general saw the defenders flag come into view, the flagbearer followed by one of the soldiers dressed up to look like the general himself. Another bird call sounded down the line, and as the general looked out towards the enemy's camp, he saw the leader of the attackers bringing up the rear of his last regiment

Everything was going so perfectly, that the general became worried. He hadn't been sure whether the enemy leader would take the bait or not, and his appearance so suddenly onto the field made the general anxious.

The defenders had long become outnumbered; and as tired and weary as they were, they had held onto their ground for the longest amount of time so far. Only an hour ago had they also managed to take out the enemy's army band – thank God – without it, the enemy had seemed to fall back in the amount of energy they put into their swings and blows.

On the other side of the field, the Western Forest looked calm and unobtrusive. However, armed with a keen eye and a pair of binoculars, the general could spot several shadowy figures hiding among the trees. At the front stood the general's adviser, her wavy brown hair and dark complexion making it harder for her to be spotted.

He ordered for the signal to be sent - a quick flash of glass into the sun.

10…9…8…

The cavalry began to shift uneasily, horses snorting as their riders held onto the reins a little tighter.

7…6…5…

Swords began to be drawn, the chinking sound of metal trying to be quiet ringing through the forest.

4…3...2...

The general drew his own sword, and raised his shield.

1.

The first to move were the advisor's regiment of archers, arrows raining down on the back ranks of the enemy. After the second volley had been fired, the general shouted a war cry, spurring his horse forwards onto the field. The cavalry followed – shouting war cries, swords swinging – the sun falling on their armour and lighting them up like a giant beacon. The foot soldiers cheered and rushed forward, knocking down many of the enemy as they sat in stunned silence. Volley after volley was released, until they ran out of arrows. The advisor led her archers out onto the field aswell, swords in hand. Soon the enemy was trapped within a ring of the defenders, trying desperately to break it open. But the lines held, and soon defeat was knocking on the enemy's door.

Realising this, some retreated back to the camp, only to be caught in a tide of more defenders. Others carried on carrying out their orders, bravely fighting a battle they knew they would lose.

Before his troops were completely decimated, the enemy leader raised his sword in the air.

"Stop!" he called, "I want to talk to your general, so we can strike up a deal between our armies."

One of the general's foot soldiers drew back his sword, aiming for the enemy leader, but the general stopped him.

"Let's what he has to say, huh?" the general said leaping off his horse and walking over to the enemy leader. "He knows he's lost." He added gleefully. A small dog at the enemy leader's side growled, baring its teeth.

But the enemy leader burst into a cackle at this comment, like he was a child who had just discovered the torturous weapon named knock knock jokes.

"I win!" he yelled. He stuck one hand into his jacket and pulled out a small round object with what looked like the remains of a clocks attached to it.

The general, his advisor, and the little dog all ducked very, very quickly.

Iggy's blue eyes burned with smoke. He lay face down in the dirt, slightly dazed. He hadn't seen Gazzy's bomb of course – but the ticking sound and Gazzy's cackle had been enough to tell him to duck.

He could hear Nudge coughing a little way away to his right, and Total making retching noises somewhere behind him.

"Report." He called out weakly, coughing up some dirt that had found its way into his mouth.

"I was this close to becoming a hotdog. But I can feel pain, so I guess I'm alive." Total called out. "I'm gonna kill that kid."

"I think I hit my head on something. No blood though." Nudge said.

Gazzy just cackled from somewhere above Iggy.

"I got you guys SO good!" He laughed, doubling up. "I mean, did you see the looks on your faces? Classic."

Iggy stood, brushing dirt off his pants, and running a hand through his hair. His head throbbed and his throat stung, but he wasn't injured. He doubted Gazzy would have set off a bomb that close to them if it had been dangerous.

"Great. The table and chairs are everywhere, and this smoke is killing my eyes. And Gazzy's bomb is all over the place, in teeny tiny little bits, except the timer, which is kind of strange, and then there's Dr. M's roses… she's not gonna be happy when she gets back. She'll be as mad as a lion with a nettle in his paws. Hey, isn't there a book about a lion who gets a thorn in his paw and everyone thinks he's angry and then this little mouse pulls it out for his and he's really thankful. You know mice are kinda cute, do you reckon Max would let us-"

"Nudge," Iggy began wearily, "Please just shut up and help us tidy the place up. A PMS'ing Dr. M is something I really don't want to have to hear…"

His voice trailed off as he heard a car coming up the driveway. Just great timing, as always, he thought.

"Just stand beside me and try to look cute, 'kay guys?"

Iggy listened as the car fell silent and the van's doors opened. There was the crunch of gravel as someone got out of the car, and then a;

"Iggy! Why is there smoke coming from the backyard?"

Iggy heard Dr. M and Max round the corner from the front lawn, and let out a weak smile. He heard Dr. M gasp, and Max sigh.

"We were just playing chess." He said pointing to the overturned table and chess pieces scattered everywhere. "You did always say that we should learn how to play more sensible games, like chess." He offered.

There was a moment of silence, which Iggy took as Dr. M contemplating how she would kill him.

"This. Is not. Sensible." She spat. "Tonight, while Max, Fang, Angel and I watch a movie, you four will be cleaning up this mess. Sensibly. Am I understood?"

"Yes ma'am." They all chorused, all sighing in relief. Dr. M had been nice on them – today. After she left, Max cleared her throat.

"Iggy is that… my alarm clock?" Max asked, obviously pointing to the timer. Gazzy laughed.

"Heck, no." he said cheerfully. "I knew you'd kill me if I used yours."

"Then whose…"

"Max!" Fang voice drifted down from the second story. "Have you seen my alarm clock?"


	16. Purple Porsche

**One Letter Stand**

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry about the wait, I got grounded and today is the first day I've been allowed on any electronic! Here's the story, as promised!**

–**Personally, I would love for the ending to happen to me…-**

**P is for: Purple Porsche**_  
By eaglegal4_

"Max! Maaaaaax!" a small but loud voice called out, the sound echoing throughout the E-shaped house. "MAX! Where are you?!"

"She's in the kitchen!" I called. I was sitting next to her, looking over blueprints of the most evil, terrible place on Earth. That we know of.

"Thanks, Fang. Now I get to deal with the scandal of the century," she said, her mouth flashing me a sarcastic, but cheery smile.

Now, because of my always-silent, dark, and handsome reputation, I only allowed myself a smirk-but inside, I was doing what I always do when she smiles, dancing, and allowing my inner self to fill up with giddiness.

Within the next two seconds, two little bundles of blond-haired children came pounding into the eat-in kitchen. Angel and the Gasman ran up to Max, smiles on their faces. "Hey guys, what's going on?" she said, pulling Angel up onto her lap, and pulling Gazzy to her side-like an old grandfather does at story time.

"Look what we found!" Angel said sweetly as she showed Max a crinkled, yellowed paper. You could tell that it was old as Max carefully unfolded it to read the writing.

Her cautious eyes scanned the page and she looked at me with an expression of awe on her face. Pointing to it, she mouthed silently, "It's my birthday."

Suddenly, I smiled, grinned, bright and wide. The others and I had found this page one day while Max was sleeping. We had decided to explore our attic-and had ended up with a treasure bigger than we had ever imagined. We now knew the days we were born. "Yup. Happy birthday, Max."

"You knew? And you kept it from me? Arg! You're so annoying," she said, partly angry, mostly suprised.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAX!" Angel and the Gasman said, a bubble of hyperness surrounding them.

"Go look outside to see your present," Iggy said, his strawberry blond head popping out around the corner.

We all walked to the front door, and Max cautiously took the first step outside. As I looked outside, I saw that Iggy and Nudge had put the bright purple Porsche on a sailboat in the middle of the lake. And somehow, they had found a way to fill the lake up with chocolate pudding and Swedish fish.

And this is why those two are labeled as the craziest of the group.


	17. Quintessential

**One Letter Stand**

**A/N from Ninja C: Thanks SO MUCH to one of our favorite authors on this site, Phoenix Fanatic, for writing this chapter. It's a topic that is dear to my heart, as Tassel or Akira will gladly tell anyone :D **

**(Also, thanks for not killing us for stealing the little alphabet trick in the first part of this collab.)**

**Q is for: Quintessential**

_By: Phoenix Fanatic_

"If you were trapped on an island for the rest of your life, and you could only bring three things with you, what would you bring?"

Well, okay then. I wasn't expecting that sort of question from Max. Normally if she asks me a question, it's something along the lines of, "Why do you have to spend eternity in the bathroom?" or "Did you eat all of the bacon in the fridge?"

Either way, I hadn't heard her behind me, so I jumped a foot and whammed my toe against the floor. At the time, the Flock was chilling with Dr. M, so I decided to turn on the TV since the rest of the Flock was out watching Iggy and Gazzy blow up something I'd rather not know about.

But when I turned on the TV, lo and behold, Gossip Girl was on.

I know, I know, it is the most non-Fang show in the history of ever, but it has some attractive girls in it! But if Max found out I was watching it… I would never hear the end of it. Right then, it had cut to a commercial break, meaning I had about two minutes to get Max out of the room. If I changed the channel, it would be too suspicious.

"Um, I don't know. Are you planning to maroon me on some beach? If so, can you please make it Tahiti? I like Tahiti." I did one of those weird half-smile things and expected Max to walk away, but instead, she walked over and stood right in front of the TV. Arrg! This wasn't going nearly as well as I'd hoped.

She crossed her arms. "No. Really, what would you bring? Remember, the things have to be the most important, quintessential things in your life."

"Does it really matter? Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to get back to watching… Destroyed in Seconds. It's a manly show, one that men like me watch."

Max wouldn't take the bait. "It's a good way to see what's important in your life." She went and sat down on a chair at the opposite side of the room, her eyes never leaving mine. "Please?"

I could see that she wouldn't give this up, and if I hurried, she might leave. (Not that I wanted her to leave – I just didn't want her seeing that I was watching Gossip Girl. If I had been watching any other show, I would've been unbelievably happy.) "Fine… um…"

"Here! You can write it down." She quickly got up, grabbed a pen and a pad of paper from the kitchen, and threw it to me.

What should I put? Should I make them all sarcastic and fake… or the real things I'd bring with me? I should bring bacon… I don't know how I'd live without it… I thought about my predicament more and scribbled down my answers. "Done," I said. I was expecting her to leave, but she just stared. "What?"

"Read them to me!" Oh, crap, I wasn't expecting that.

"It's not a big deal," I said, folding the small piece of paper. I had, maybe, thirty seconds of time left before the show came back on.

"Why are you so defensive?" Max smiled evilly and stood.

"I'm not," I said, drawing back in to the couch as she walked over to me. "It's the usual; food, clothes, and a cell phone."

"No, it's not, because then you would've shown it to me." Max sat next to me. She paused, thinking something over… and started to lean forwards… and forwards… she smelled like flowers, and her hair was golden, and...

When she was about an inch from my face, she did a little, "Ha!" and snatched the piece of paper from my hands. She immediately got up and ran back to the chair.

"Hey!" She could notnotnot see what was on that piece of paper.

But naturally, she did.

She stared down at the incriminating piece of paper, shocked. On the TV, Blair Waldorf filled the TV, but Max ignored her. She was hypnotized by the words on the small piece of paper. Her hair had veiled her face, so I couldn't see her reaction. Arrg! She couldn't know this... not yet...

"What is this?" she whispered.

Oh, crap, crap, crap. I had to lie, I just had to. But instead of constructing an elaborate lie, the reality of the situation slipped out:

"It's the truth."

"Really?" She looked up at me with a weird look in her eyes. I couldn't peg down an emotion.

"You said I had to put down what I couldn't live without. So I did."

She was lost for words, something I hadn't seen before. Finally, she put the piece of paper down, dug around in her pocket, and brought out a different piece. "These are my three things."

I read:

_Food, Clothes, Fang_

Talk about giving me a heart attack. My adrenaline surged, and I didn't know how to respond. The coincidence was just incredible.

My note had read:

_Food, Clothes, Max_

"Creepy," I breathed, and Max did a small little laugh.

"But what does this mean?" She got up from the chair, and I was instantly aware of how close we were. Her nose was almost touching mine, and I could hear her breathing above everything else. She was my world, my universe... But right as she was about to close the gap, her eyes flickered to the TV behind me.

"Hey, are you watching Gossip Girl?"

**Note to my fellow authors: Guys, maybe we should give up on this thing and let Phoenix Fanatic take over. This was too funny. Like our old stuff, which has now turned sucky on account of our busy-ness. **

**Anyway. Thanks immensely, Phoenix Fanatic. Following this up shall be R is for Rockin' Rack (can you tell I came up with almost every one of these titles myself?) by CynRoxurSox.**


	18. Rockin' Rack

**One Letter Stand**

**A/N: Heeeeeey... so we're alive. Cue gasps of shock.  
**

**This is Tassel speaking, by the way. ****Contrary to what we said in the last chapter (though I'm sure none of you remember that), this chapter was written by Unigu Mika, who is currently our favorite person in the world. Ninja C would like to mention that she (Mika) is awesome and beautiful and lots of other crap. XD**

**Disclaimer: Yeah... we have one of these.**

**R is for: Rockin' Rack  
**_By Unigu Mika_**  
**

Opening his eyes, Dylan looked over at the clock in his room. It currently read 5:30 A.M..

Perfect.

As quietly as possible, he slid out from under the covers and placed his feet on the floor. Slowly standing out of bed, he paused and listened. Cocking his head to the side, he heard no one stir from their sleep in the whole house nor heard anyone up. He grinned; he was up before Max! Now was his chance. Slipping over to the door, he quietly opened it and looked out into the hall- still no one. He was glad that the room he was in was right next to the stairs. Looking down, he opened his wings carefully and looked at the stairwell. It was just wide enough for him to make a half jump/half glide down to the bottom. The stairs were too creaky too risk walking down; it had the chance of waking up the Flock. In a slightly graceful manner, he flapped his partially open wings to glide him down the stairs. Of course, his landing wasn't perfect and he make a soft _thump_ upon hitting the carpeted ground. He tensed and waited, praying that no one had woken up from the sound. He thought he heard someone turn in bed, but no one stirred. He grinned again- Dr. Martinez had been right with her guess that he had some kind of wings from an owl. It rendered his flapping wings silent.

He folded his wings back in and crept over to his goal; the kitchen. Even though it was pitch black (he dare not risk having lights on) his raptor-vision allowed the stars and waxing gibbous moon outside to provide more than enough light for him to see. He looked around and began to formulate what he would need. Obviously he would need materials like pots, some bowls, the coffee maker, and some whisks. He would also need food items like the two cartons of eggs in the fridge, the milk, butter, ham, sausage, and juice. He still didn't want to pull those out right away; he was unsure of just how loud the fridge doors were when they were opened. He should have checked that last night. So, with that in mind, he decided on the dried goods first.

Which meant a trip into the pantry.

Sneaking over to the pantry door, he wondered how surprised Max and the rest of the Flock would be when they woke up to the sounds of Dylan cooking them breakfast. He thought of it as a kind of 'hey, I'm worth something' statement since they still were pretty bummed from Fang having left. Of course, he had never cooked in his short life, but he had seen Iggy do it plenty of times before. And he was blind! It had to be relatively simple. After all, he had managed to sneak a peek in a few cookbooks that their temporary host had in her kitchen. Luckily for him, one of the books had breakfast in it. He had practically memorized the whole section of breakfast recipes in order to try and not mess up. He just hoped that he wouldn't be a horrible cook like Max was...

The pantry door slid open quietly to reveal the vast stock of dried and canned goods. Quietly but efficiently he began to pull out things he would need; two, ten-pound bags for flour, some condensed milk, ground coffee, sugar, and powdered sugar. Examining his small stash of goods, he had only one other trip to make; the spice rack. Heading back into the pantry, he found the impressive rack to the left. Dylan suddenly frowned, finding that even though he could see the individual jars of spices, he couldn't quite read the labels. Luckily for him, his early planning gave him the intel he needed to know that it was alphabetized. What he needed first was cinnamon for his pancakes. So, now it was just 'grab the spice and hope it's what you need' game. He squinted and, seeing one that had a long enough name for cinnamon, grabbed it from the shelf.

That's when everything came crashing down. Literally.

To his horror, what he thought was part of the label in the dark abyss of the pantry was actually a part of the rack that kept the spices from falling down. The rack wasn't even attached to the wall. It was just placed on the shelf. It teetered precariously, lurched by his sharp tug. His hands went up to stop the fall. The rack was almost horizontal when he caught it. That didn't stop the spices. He winced as glass containers shattered around his feet. It sounded like gunshots in the silence.

He sighed, hearing the sounds of alarmed shouts from upstairs and lights turning on. The Flock would find him there looking like a total fool with his lower body coated in powdered herbs and sticks of cinnamon. Iggy would be upset, but he imagined that their host would be furious. She had just refilled a lot of the jars, too.

So much for surprise breakfast for the Flock.

**A/N (still by Tassel): You're thrilled to have us back, I can tell. The next chapter, also by Unigu Mika (I don't understand the system, I just go with it) is called S is for Sexy. Don't get too excited.  
**


	19. Sexy

**One Letter Stand**

**A****/N by Tassel: Here it is, readers, another chapter lightning-fast. That's to try and balance out the immense gap between Q and R.**

**Disclaimer: ...whatever.**

**S is for: Sexy  
**_By Unigu Mika_**  
**

I sighed, twirling a strand of my brown-ish blonde hair around my finger. Looking at the box in my hand, I was growing increasingly annoyed at the smiling face of the red-haired model that stared back at me. Why is it that hair color models have to be so dang perky?

How agitating.

Even more agitating was remembering just how you-know-who had The Red Haired Wonder stuck onto his lips some time ago, or just how he always stared at Dr. Stupendous like she was some kind of freakin' godly object. The memory alone caused me to nearly crumple the box. Yet, he said that he liked me! God, just thinking about it made my head hurt with confusion. Fine! If he liked me but seemed to like red hair so much, then maybe I'd try by adding some red to my hair. Maybe then Fang would stop being so confusing and start making sense for once in his life.

"Maaaaaaax!" Nudge whined, hands on her hips. Her hair had been pinned back by bobby pins to keep her face clean. "Are you going to let me do this or are you gonna stand there staring into space the rest of the afternoon?"

I nervously laughed and looked at her. Originally, I was going to try this on my own, but leave it to Nudge to find out about something even remotely fashion related that was going down in the house. She was so excited that she went all in; she convinced our temporary college-aged guardian, Milliana or 'Milli' as she wanted us to be called, to go out and purchase an apron and kitchen gloves during the middle of night so as the rest of the Flock wouldn't know what was happening. I even got the rest of the Flock to get out of the house for a few hours. But right now, I was seriously starting to doubt whether I wanted to really do this. I hated girly things, so why was I even doing this? I was seriously regretting my remote conception of this idea.

It felt like Judgement Day; I couldn't turn back now. I knew Nudge would make me do this even if I suddenly said no. Reluctantly, I made my way over to the side of the bathtub. "Remember Nudge, I just want a streak of this. Got it?"

"Gotcha!" She chirped, giving me a thumbs-up. Her eyes seemed to sparkle with excitement as she grabbed the tube of hair-dye and approached me…

After what seemed like eternity of having my hair tugged straight, rinsed, dried, and finally dyed before being rinsed once more, Nudge finally said something to me that didn't relate to the latest _Vogue_ or _Fashion Weekly_ magazine she had in her room. "There! I'm done!"

_Thank God_, I thought. "How does it look?"

She paused, unsure now. "Well, uh, it's definitely… different."

Not good.

I got up from my kneeling position from the bathtub and practically ran to the mirror. What I found staring back at me left me torn between screaming and attacking Nudge.

"Hey guys! How's it go-?" Milli opened the door of the bathroom and stopped short, wide-eyed at the sight before her.

Why did the two of us act so stunned? About a third of my hair was dyed. But, it wasn't red like the picture showed. It was orange.

Like, bright, flaming, _carrot_ orange.

"Nudge…" I said, my voice like ice. I was going to kill her. Absolutely. Brutally. Murder. Her.

"I didn't know that this would happen!" Nudge protested, fearful; it did little in sparing her my wrath. I knew this had been a bad idea. Why didn't I listen to myself this one time?

Milli, sensing the raw bloodlust I was emulating, stepped in. "We can fix this Max! Just relax!"

"Yeah? Relax?" I nearly snarled. "There's about a half-hour before everyone comes back to see me like... this!" When the rest of the Flock came back, there would be no end to the laughs they would get from this. But, that was just fine for me. I was going to kick all of their asses regardless. Or maybe I should just hack off the part that was dyed.

"It's easy Max, trust me. I know someone who can fix this." Milli said, a rather mischievous grin on her face. I just hoped something good would come out of this. But I was still going to kill Nudge.

Soaring over the soft, featureless, Appalachian Mountains with my Flock on our way to a new CSM site, I noticed Fang had positioned himself so he was flying over me. I noticed him looking down at me. Somehow, Milli had done the talking and made it seem like I had gone out and found someone who would be willing to cut our hair for free. I was nice to see my flock without having to brush their long, split hair from their face. I unconsciously tugged on my professionally done red-streak; the stylist had to dye my whole head to make the color match. It wasn't the exact color of my hair, but it matched rather well. Besides, in a few week my hair would fade back to normal.

"Nice hair color." Fang commented, obviously amused. I frowned; I had hoped that the brown color still looked the same in the sun. I guess not. Then again, leave it to him to notice the change of my hair color.

"Shut up." I mumbled, kicking into hyper drive to get away before he made anymore comments.

**A/N by Tassel: At least if this happened we would finally know what color Max's hair was. Geez, JP.**

**The next chapter is T is for Totally TP-ed by yours truly! I have to have it up before Tuesday or I will drown in schoolwork! Hooray three day weekends! That is all!  
**


	20. Totally TPed

**One Letter Stand**

**A/N: Yeah… I didn't have it up by Tuesday. So I drowned in schoolwork. But now it's another three-day weekend!**

**I hope this is at least mildly amusing. I've sort of gone delirious trying to finish everything in my life (like college applications and crap) before November.**

**Disclaimer: JP obviously is somewhat organized, since he's able to churn out books like he does. I wonder if you can hire someone to ghostwrite homework… :)**

T is for: Totally TP-ed  
_By Tassel630_

I wasn't sure where the inspiration had come from. But I knew that once Nudge had an idea, you didn't get in her way. And I also knew that Total would pay for that mistake.

It was Ella's birthday. My mom had taken her out to lunch to get her out of the way for our surprise, though she – my mom – didn't know the exact _nature_ of that surprise. Nudge had deemed it appropriate to toilet-paper the house. I wasn't sure how that was a celebration, but she insisted, so I shrugged and agreed.

Total was not as accommodating. He followed an increasingly-irritated Nudge around for the better part of an hour, yammering about immorality and justice and the proper way to celebrate a birthday.

She seemed to have finally shaken him off, however, by the time Ella returned with my mother. We stood outside waiting for the car to pull up, goofy smiles on our faces and ribbons of toilet paper fluttering around us. It's weird to think about toilet paper as graceful, but apparently it is if you string it up in trees.

I could see my mom laughing behind the wheel when the car turned into the driveway. "Happy Birthday!" we shouted in an impressive – for us, at least – display of unison. Ella leapt out of the passenger seat, shaking with peals of laughter, and hurried toward us. Halfway across the lawn, though, she stopped, confusion crossing her face.

"What's that?" she asked, bewildered, pointing behind me.

I turned to look, expecting a large fanged monster or a cockroach at least someone with a machine gun. "What?"

"That beehive-looking thing."

We investigated more closely. Several lengths of toilet paper were intricately knotted together to strengthen them. Suspended from this rope of sorts was an odd, elongated shape that did indeed look like a mummified beehive. And protruding from the bottom of this phenomenon was an upside-down pair of furry black ears and some _very_ irritated eyes.

Ella immediately started laughing hard enough to summon tears. Total, obviously gagged and disgruntled at being a source of humor, struggled, causing his toilet-paper-wrapped body to sway like a piñata. My mom snapped a picture. Doubled over though we were, we all turned to Nudge.

"What?" she asked with an odd combination of defensiveness and innocence. "It was the only way I could shut him up!"

"Ah, sweet irony," Iggy chuckled.

**A/N: I don't know. I'm feeling crazy. Remember that thing about being delirious?**

**So… review and stuff, I suppose. Please. The next chapter is U is for Underwire, by Nom-Kitty (who has a sweet username). And I'm uploading it right now.  
**


	21. Underwire

**One Letter Stand**

**A/N: I did not lie.**

**Disclaimer: I, Tassel630, do not own Max Ride. And neither does Nom-Kitty. I think. *shifty eyes***

U is for: Underwire  
_By Nom-Kitty_

"Hey Iggy?"

He looked up at Fang with what seemed to be a glint of wisdom in the corner of his sightless eyes. The kind of wisdom that only a blind person could have. Especially Iggy, since he probably had all the knowledge in the world. Okay. That's what he needed. Some smartitude.

"What's underwire?"

"Uh... what?" Iggy looked as though he had been impaled through the gut with an incredibly sharp waffle. Or as though he just discovered that his breakfast decided they wanted that oh-so abundant knowledge of his and would do anything in their power to get it.

The point is though, was that Fang indeed was mistaken. That glint was probably that of stupiditude. But then again, Fang was the one asking him in the first place. "I heard Max and Nudge talking about it."

"Hmmm... How do I explain this?" He directed his eyes towards the ceiling. "It's part-eh, just go ask Max."

Fang narrowed his eyes at this, but didn't protest. Turning on his heel, he was just about to leave before Iggy decided it best to tackle him to the ground yelling "WAIT!"

"What!"

"In stead of asking her, you should find out for yourself!"

"How?" For Fang had already tried using Google to find out, but was caught by Jeb before he could even press enter. It wasn't, afterall, his turn to use the computer. It was Angel's.

"Y'know."

"..."

"Poke."

Contrary to before, Fang's eyes widen to impossible widths once his perverted, teenage boy hormones smacked him in the face. Iggy was laughing like a maniac.

"Where, exactly?"

"U-"

"Iggy? Fang? What're ya doing?" Standing before them was Angel, in all her toddler-ish, loli ways. She was staring down at them with this albeit creepy, I-caught-you-and-now-face-my-wrath sort of expression on her face. You could call it smug. But whatever you wanted to call it didn't matter. The way the light hit her portrait... It made her seem more of a maniac than pervy ol' Iggy.

"Nothing," they said in unison.

"I heard something about... underwire?"

"Nope," once again in unison.

"Oh, Maaaaax~!"

**A/N: And ze next chapitre shall be: V is for Verily Vaunted, by Akira43. Go bother her to finish it. Oh, and review also. Nom-Kitty would enjoy it.**


	22. Verily Vaunted

**One Letter Stand**

**A/N: Happy Halloween!**

**Disclaimer: Wouldn't it be awesome if JP handed out the rights to his stories instead of candy on Halloween? He certainly has enough to be able to. Now if only I can time it right so I get the ones to MaxRide….**

Verily Vaunted  
_By Akira43_

The Gasman was excited for Halloween.

It was the perfect time for him to use his favorite accent—Transylvanian.

"I vant to dreenk your blood!"

"Go away Gazzy."

"Vat are you trying to say? Do you not vant to feed me?"

"No."

The Gasman huffed. Well, if Max was going to be like that, then he would just find someone else to play with.

"Vwa ha ha ha ha! Vwa ha ha ha ha! You vill not escape me!"

Iggy groaned, spitting dirt out of his mouth. He heard the Gasman coming up from behind, but didn't expect to be _tackled_.

"Gazzy, let me up."

"Vy?"

"Because I said so."

"Fine," the Gasman said, dropping the accent. "I'll just leave you all to your grumpy self."

"Don't even think about it," Angel said from her desk, not even looking up from the pumpkin she was drawing.

The Gasman closed his mouth, disappointed that he hadn't even gotten the chance to say anything. Stupid mind-reading sister.

"Visage!"

"Aieeeeeeee!"

Nudge fell backwards off of the barstool, regretting her attempt to balance on the just the back legs.

The Gasman cackled, pleased that his random shout had such an entertaining effect.

Nudge was not amused.

"FANG! GAZZY'S BEING MEAN TO ME!"

Fang, who had been sitting right next to her at the counter, winced as her shout reverberated throughout the room.

"There's no need to yell Nudge, I'm right here."

"I know. So punish him," she stated matter-of-factly, taking for granted that there was no need to explain what happened.

The Gasman stopped cackling. Punished? But he was just trying to have a bit of fun.

"No."

The other two looked at Fang incredulously, one relieved, the other furious.

"He was just having a bit of fun, Nudge," Fang said before she could fully recover from her astonishment. "Lighten up a bit, will ya?"

Nudge huffed, muttering under her breath and "accidentally" bumping into the Gasman on her way out of the room.

The Gasman just grinned, his eyes lit up with mischievous pride.

Fang grinned back, just as pleased that high-and-mighty Princess Nudge had finally been thrown—literally—off her throne.

"You know, Gazzy, I have an idea. Let's put that talent for scaring into practice, shall we?"

The Gasman's grin grew even wider and he nodded enthusiastically. The trick-or-treaters who stopped by tonight would be in for a surprise.

While the girls headed out on their annual candy-scavenging hunt, the boys insisted on staying behind to pass out the candy. "Give a little, get a little," Fang told a reluctant Max. "You can't expect to go around taking other people's candy without giving a bit to them. Let's try to keep things fair all around."

All it took was one glance at Fang's super-secret, Max-manipulating expression, and she had conceded.

Hence, the jumbled assortment of Halloween decorations dumped out on the lawn in front of them. It was time to get to work.

Moments before the first trick-or-treaters arrived, the boys gave each other high-fives, celebrating their record-breaking set-up time. All three of them were dressed as vampires, and the yard was lit strategically to create the perfect hiding places. They placed a bowl of candy on the front step, with a little note attached saying "please take one." The finishing touch was a sign on the front lawn that read "Verily Vaunted House—Enter if you dare."

As the first treaters approached the house, they read the sign out loud to each other, laughing at the "cute" attempt to add a smattering of Halloween spirit to an otherwise empty yard. As intended, they completed missed the fine print at the bottom:

"Beware of trickers, treaters!"

Just as the first person began to reach for the bowl of candy, Fang, Iggy, and the Gasman took their cue.

"Ve vant to dreek your blood!" the three shouted simultaneously, arms held out menacingly as they slowly moved forwards.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

High-fives all around.

Back to their positions in the bushes.

Repeat.

The Verily Vaunted House was open for business. Come out and get your candy—if you dare.

**A/N: And there's a bit of Halloween spirit for ya, folks! All because I didn't feel like using the dictionary's definition of "vaunted" (boasted about with excessive praise). Although I suppose that definition could work too, if you imagine the boys' retelling of their ventures once the girls finally get back…**

**Next up is Wherever We Wing, by Ninja C! We're getting into the final stretch!**


	23. Wherever We Wing

**One Letter Stand**

**A/N: I'm pullin' an all-nighter!**

**Isn't it great when a friend reads a book you've been pestering them to finish? Well, that's why Unigu Mika, our (my, Tassel's, and Akira's) IRL best friend, is suddenly part of this collab, as though she's been here the whole time. Cuz she FINALLY finished MR.**

**God. Took you long enough. XD**

**Disclaimer: Not JP.**

**W is for: Wherever We Wing**_  
By Ninja C_

It's good to belong.

I have the flock. Iggy has the flock. Nudge has the flock. Angel, Fang, Gazzy have the flock. Even Dylan has the flock.

And even though Fang had left us, left my heart with a hole in it, left Angel to torment us still further, he had made a promise to me. He'd come back. He _would_.

No matter how far any of us were separated, we knew we had a family out there somewhere, flying toward us.

**A/N: Aaand I think I'll leave it at that. I was gonna write more, but this just seems right.**

**Mika, you've got X is for Xtreme. BRING IT.**


	24. Xtreme

**One Letter Stand**

**A/N from Tassel: What is this? A chapter?**

**Ahem. We haven't died. Luckily I can blame someone else for the delay even though I have been equally busy and forgetful. ._. I give you ****Unigu **Mika!

**A/N from Mika: I should be writing my own fanfics, or even doing homework. Or not.**

**X is for: Xtreme  
**_By Unigu Mika _

Hey, have you guys ever been on the Internet? Wait, that's a dumb question, you probably are on it right now. Do me a favor. Go to a search engine. Now. Don't worry; I can wait until you have a new browser or tab. Got one now? Awesome. Now type in 'rage guy face'. Go to images and click on the picture to look at it. Now look at it again. Once more for good measure. Have that imagine in your head? Good. You now know what I am doing in my head at this exact moment.

What would make me do that you ask? My Flock's just been pulled over by a police officer. The flashing lights in the rear-view mirror were making me nauseous; I gripped the seat cushion so tightly that I could hear the fabric ripping apart. Oops. Why had we decided to drive in the first place you ask? I know, I know, you can even point fingers and say to me 'but Maaaaaaxxx! I thought that you and the flock didn't like cars!' or 'Maaaaaaxxxx! You guys can fly! Why not do that?11' Well, first off, shut up. I am well aware that me + Flock + car = hyperventilation fun. I'll let you know that we're in a convertible. A nice red Mercedes or something, I don't know. Ask Iggy or Gazzy later (they've been drooling over this car this whole poorly guided adventure). And second of all, we had Dylan. You ever seen Dylan fly? Sure, I mean, he can fly a lot better than our first adventure of me pushing him off of the roof, but he ain't that graceful enough to dodge bullets while flying.

Anyway, so here I am facing several important issues:

None of us are anywhere near the legal age to drive.

There aren't enough seats for all of us (Angel is on Dylan's lap).

We're runaway science experiements that had just escaped from being killed from the insane science freaks that wanted us dead.

Did I mention that Iggy is driving right now?

Long story short, my mom and Jeb had decided to take us on a cross-country trip from Santa Monica, California to Chicago, Illinois as a kind of big group present for all of us since, well, he didn't die again after our latest encounter. She and Jeb had gotten this RV to take us all in that, surprisingly, didn't give us too bad a case of the 'oh-god-get-me-out-of-here's.

We had started off pretty well, reaching Kingman, Arizona. But, somewhere along the way we picked up someone following us. But, I mean, it's Route 66, it's nothing more than a two-lane highway. There really isn't a place for either of us to go to, right? My mom decided that the Flock should get some snacks before we took another leg of the journey and had Jeb stop at a convenience store for us. The SUV that had followed us had pulled in as well, but all of us weren't paying too much attention to cars outside since we were getting snacks (and by snacks, I mean buying out the whole store on chips, candy, and pop). When we had our twenty-some bags each to carry and Jeb's significantly lighter wallet, everything kinda went downhill.

The guys in the SUV suddenly tore out of their SUV wielding guns. I'm not too sure what happened after that since Dylan took out his wings and basically smashed me in the face while trying to be the hero, but there was no way I was going to make him a hero today. "Duck!" I shouted, throwing some of my Flock and myself into the nearest vehicle to protect us from the rain of bullets coming from the semi-automatics. Why couldn't evil just take a break for once? Realizing I was in the backseat with Nudge and Gazzy toppled on top of me, I shouted to the front while trying to rearrange the pile of bird kids. "Get this car moving unless you want us to be ground beef!"

We jerked forward, the engine gunning to life despite the bullets that had been pelting the hood of the car. Thrown against the car seat, I saw us pass the SUV where the guys were piling back inside. Outside on the open road, the driver gunned it, quickly putting out of range from the gunmen. As gracefully as we could, Nudge, Gazzy, and I managed to put ourselves in a seat, but still kept our heads down. Stealing a quick glance behind us, I could see the black SUV was, of course, tailing us. Great. Now I had to try and figure out what to do. I noticed Gazzy was pulling something out of his pocket and gave me a devilish grin. "Fire in the hole!" He gleefully called, momentarily exposing himself to throw the device at the SUV and to the rain of bullets that aimed for him. Within moments, an ear-splitting explosion accompanied by the squealing of tires filled the air. Looking behind, I saw we were quickly leaving behind the burning remains of the SUV on the side of the road. I sighed, grateful for my very own little pyromaniac.

"That was awesome Gasman!" Iggy called from the front, making Gazzy turn away from the smoldering remains of their little 'project' they had probably made while in the RV without Jeb or Dr. Martinez knowing. Gasman laughed.

"The phosphorous did what you said it would do Ig- woah you're driving!"

I did a double take, first to confirm that Iggy was indeed driving and then to the road, slightly surprised that we were still on the road. There was no time for me to scream or have an aneurism because as soon as we passed the nearest billboard, a state trooper was right on our heels. I looked back at the speedometer, only to find that Iggy was having the car going into the triple digits. To prevent a chase scene with the law, we coaxed Iggy to stop on the side of the road without getting us killed or thrown out of the car.

So, here we are, waiting for the officer to come over and examine the six underage children in a car that more likely resembles Swiss cheese than a sports car and a blind kid at the wheel. To say that we were in a lot of trouble was an understatement.

'_Don't worry Max, I got this.'_ Angel said to me in my head. For once, I was glad for Angel's creepy mind-controlling abilities.

The officer approached the driver's side and looked at all of us in the car. His sunglasses covered, like, his entire face and his hat made his face well protected from the sun. He took one look (I guess, I couldn't tell) at Iggy and frowned.

"Son, how old are you?"

"Mister Officer, sir?"

Angel leaned over to get the officer's attention. He looked up to look at her- bad choice. The man shared a moment of silence, momentarily confused by Angel's conversation with him. I couldn't tell what his expression was, but he seemed to get Angel's mind control. He nodded numbly and wandered back to his cop car to leave us alone. I relaxed in my seat, sliding down somewhat. Boy, did I love my Angel, but she should be crazy.

"Iggy, how about I drive until we meet up with Dr. Martinez."

"Sounds like a plan." Iggy said, not wanting the chance to meet another cop.

**A/N from Tassel: Please leave a review and let us know what you think! Up next will be Y is for: Youth, by Akira43! We're almost done with this little trilogy... Let's fly through the home stretch!**


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